When it comes to working with perfectionism, I see it as essential to focus on the ways in which perfectionistic tendencies can be narrowing and ultimately bring us away from long-term goals. Perfectionism can be harnessed in a way that is more productive, but, when unexamined and unchecked, it will shift attention toward tasks or actions that lead us away from the present, the space where we have more power to influence how we’re feeling and to whom or what we are connected.

I imagine that you can pinpoint accomplishments or outcomes that, at least in part, can be attributed to perfectionistic striving. Certainly, there are strengths associated with challenging oneself and looking ahead to the next goal, and perhaps you’re fearful of losing your drive to look forward and press onward. Perhaps you’ve also noticed that focusing intently on a process or achieving a goal the “right” way has taken you further away from a value, such as connecting with others, or contributed to spirals of criticism and devaluation when you’ve assessed the outcome and determined that you’ve fallen short. In all likelihood, there was a small detail missed or wording that could have been tweaked. That is okay. It’s the harsh appraisals and frequent rumination on mistakes that rarely leaves us feeling motivated to try again.  

When working with clients who are seeking to draw more awareness to the ways in which perfectionism can impede their progress, I prioritize accountability and reflection, interwoven with a strong vein of self-compassion. We will move away from all-or-nothing evaluations and blame and create more space for thoughtful analysis and emphasis on incremental progress.  Maybe you’re focused on adhering to a rigid protocol or timeframe, or striving to portray the perfect image among a group of friends, or you’re habitually finding that you’re stuck at stage 0 because you’re afraid you won’t be able to execute a project flawlessly and choose not to begin at all. I’ll welcome you in, so we can start to be curious about the less adaptive manifestations of your style of perfectionism and empower you to intervene in ways that keep your broader goals at the forefront.